How Many Ecuadorians Does It Take To Turn On A Light?

Yesterday we checked into a grotty little hostel in Quito, Ecuador. A few hours before sunset I look up and realize that I have no light switch. I have the plate that guards all the wires and screws, but no physical switch. Just a hole. I walk down stairs and talk to the two managers, Jose and Carlos. Jose is in his sixties, about four feet tall, constantly smiling, and once told me that he was the King of the Americas: North, Central and South. Carlos is much younger, much taller, and everyday he wears a suit jacket, slacks, and rainbow flip flops.

How To Change A Light In Ecuador

Step 1: Put your finger in the open hole to make sure there's no running electric current, and to see if there's a way to get it to work without having to fix it.

Step 2: Swear colorfully as you chip off the paint from the screws that have been there twenty-odd years.

Step 3: Once the plate comes off put some electric tape around the loose wires.

Step 4: Once you realize that you need those wires for the new plate, take off the tape and shock yourself. Then push the wires into their respective holes.

Step 5: At this point you will realize that you have bought the wrong plate, and that there is no way to connect it to the wall. Take a screw, hold it with a pair of scissors, and burn the end using a lighter. Once hot, try to burn a hole through the thick plastic plate. Try again. And again.

Step 6: Once you have failed, pick up your electric tape, tape the switch to the wall, and walk away. Done! You have successfully changed a lightswitch in Ecuador!

I'd be lying if I said Ecuador wasn't a weird country, but maybe that's why we like it so much here. It's way more tranquillo than Colombia, much cheaper, and clean. For those of you who have never been to Latin America before, you might not understand how amazing CLEAN can be. The large majority of Cetral and South America is covered with trash, every road littered to the extent that it makes you sick. Common practice is to throw your trash out the window of the bus when you are finished with it. Mostly this is due to education, or lack thereof, on the subject. Sadly, most people just don't know that throwing your trash on the ground is bad for the environment, pollutes the city, and makes it a worse place to live. I'm not saying that burying it under the ground is a viable solution, but at least we're not walking around in our own filth. Ecuador, by comparisson to its neighbors, is spotless.

Quito, which has a bad reputation outside of Ecuador, is a beautiful capital city of 2.2 million people. There are massive, clean, well-kept public parks all over the city, a great transportation system, a stunning Centro Historico with sprawling plazas and elegant cathedrals. In 2011, Quito was voted Cultural Capital of the Americas. The city center also boasts twenty-seven churches, monasteries and convents, twenty-three plazas and monuments, thirty-four museums, ten cultural centers, and seven theaters. Surrounded by mountains, it's about 9,000 feet above sea level, and for the first few days you will feel constantly out of breath. Sweet little indiginous ladies walk around in delicately embroidered skirts, white blouses, a colorful shall, and for some reason, a fedora. Children laugh and run after pidgeons.

Oh, and when you ask for a cafe con leche (coffee with milk) you'll get a steaming hot cup of milk and a perfume vial of espresso for you to pour in at your leisure.

I Have A Dream

I'm currently reading a book entitled "Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings." The author, Rob Brezsny, calls for me to read Martin Luthor King's "I have a Dream" speech and then write my own. Although nowhere near as eloquent, I will try to harness Dr. King's passion and fervor to state my own dreams for this world. Also, I fully encourage you to write your own and send it back to me.

If you would like to first read the original, click here: http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm

I'll also include an excerpt from "Pronoia":
"I have a dream that we will take everything we need and give everything we have. We'll be both selfish altruists and generous braggarts, libertarian socialists and capitalist humanitarians. That'll be the law in the New Earth-different from the Old Earth, where you can blindly serve your own interests or devote yourself to the needs of others, but not both."

I Have A Dream

We all have dreams for our world. Some I see in the bright, optimistic future and others are so close I can smell them. Some dreams can even be a reality today, in this great year of Two-thousand and twelve, if we are willing to fight for them.

I have a dream that all children of all countries will be able to read and write, with an opportunity for further education and a degree from a University, if they so choose.

I have a dream that World Leaders will rise up past the bureaucracy and start living up to their promises and their people's expectations. That they will find the poorest person in their country and walk a day in their shoes. They will no longer be able to accept money from large corporations with greedy agendas. They will no longer stand by while their government takes money from its people, while their banks print money illegally and separate families from their homes. They will know the difference between capitalism and totalitarianism, socialism and communism, democracy and tyranny.

I have a dream that all borders will disappear and people will be able to see the world, provide for their families and not feel the chains of an invisible line in the sand. I dream that the United States will make all illegal aliens rightful citizens who have been living there over three years, which enables them to pay taxes, contribute to their community and send their children to school. Free language schools will enable our new, hard-working, tax-paying citizens to integrate into society and better themselves.

I have a dream that siesta time will spread to all countries, and from 12:00-2:00pm the world shall know peace by the sound of silence (in their different time zones, of course.) In the future it will be illegal to work over five days a week and mandatory vacation time will be instated for employees by their employers.

I have a dream that coffee planters, sweatshop workers and rice paddy farmers will someday be paid fairly for their hard, back-breaking labor. This can be done today if we stand up as one and refuse to buy cheap, ill-gotten/stolen food, garments, diamonds, etc. Look into Fair Trade and find out which companies are playing by the rules and decide for yourself who you would support. (www.fairtrade.net)

I have a dream that people will realize that all religions are basically the same and stop killing their neighbors over a disagreement of interpretation. The Pope will no longer be asked for political advice that he knows nothing of, and will also receive a tax audit. If he complains, he will be held accountable for thousands of deaths. I also dream that people will stop worshiping materialism and return to the natural splendor Mother Nature graces us with every day.

I have a dream that Burning Man will become a year-long festival that all people can afford and enjoy. I dream that someday the word "hippie" will be synonymous with positive strength, blissful magnetism and energetic integrity. Men in suits will no longer be afraid to frolic in fields of posies without being judged, and individuals will be cherished for exactly what they are: Individual.

I have a dream to introduce teaching morality in schools. Children receive no direction in this if they are not taught at home, which is all too often the case. I dream that parents will start taking an interest in their children's education, because they are the future and the future starts now. Art, poetry, music and singing will be taught equally with math, science, grammar and history, not just as an elective. Sex education will be re-instated in the South, instead of teaching abstinence, which they currently do in Texas. All those in favor of teaching abstinence in public schools will receive a chastity belt for their "services" to humanity.

I have a dream that it will be illegal for the government to continue to control the media; what we call the "Free Press." The First Amendment seems to have disappeared in this Land of the Free, and I would call that the journalists recently jailed for publishing the truth be released. Fox News will have to close its doors with these new laws, and the watered-down tripe the American public receives will be rejuvenated with Actual World Events. In addition, good news will be reported in equal measure with the bad.

I have a dream in zero tolerance of racism, sexism, rape, bigotry, police brutality, and accordions. People are people, we are all made of the same atoms, blood cells and water, no matter our sex, skin color, or who we love. Same sex marriages will be legal, and all opposed will also wear chastity belts for their stupidity and close-mindedness. Police brutality and those charged with assault will be punished by forced encampment at a Rainbow Gathering until they've calmed down. Same goes for accordion players.

I have a dream that all McDonalds will have to close on the grounds that they are directly responsible for world obesity, ruining hundreds of thousands of small businesses, and the selling of chemicals labeled "food." I dream that people will start paying attention to what they put inside their bodies, instead of chemicals that look like food, taste like food and smell like food but in fact, are not food. While I'm on the subject, cigarettes will also be illegal once the companies are no longer allowed to pay off the government and the FDA, on the basis of willingly addicting and killing millions without flinching. Marijuana will of course be legalized as a medical substitute to overpriced drugs that only the rich can now afford.

I have a dream that people will take themselves less seriously, live their lives to the fullest, and love openly. I wait for a future filled with silliness and adventure, remembering that we have but one life to live and that this is no dress rehearsal. I invite you to laugh at yourself before anyone else can, wear funny hats, kiss your children and hug your neighbors. This is my dream for a better tomorrow.

"Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back." - Dr. Martin Luthor King

Soup For Breakfast

The man stared at me like I was insane.
"Really?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied, smiling.
"Really??" he asked again, shocked.
"It's true," I said. "In America we don't eat soup for breakfast."

The rest of the conversation consisted of me explaining what Americans might eat for breakfast. As I listed off different options like eggs, toast, assorted meat products, cereal, fruit, coffee, he stood there listening and shaking his head. At the end of my little speech he decidedly told me that what I wanted to order wasn't good and that he would bring out a better breakfast. My multiple attempts to explain that I was a vegetarian fell on deaf ears as he had never heard of one before. Pete's addition to all of this was to laugh quietly and drink his cup of warm cinnamon tea. What came after was a simple Colombian breakfast of two bowls of soup, one potato and one an unidentifiable meat soup, a giant platter of rice, beans, avocado, plantains, yuca, bread, and the biggest slab of meat I have seen in a long time. So we sat at a cafe in Yopal, Colombia and had soup for breakfast.

Colombia has been a wonderful surprise in so many ways, even though we're back in that world I know so well with undrinkable tap water, cold showers and no flushing the toilet paper. Yet everywhere we go I feel safe and secure. The people are some of the friendliest in the world, if not some of the strangest. I feel that about 95% of what I knew about Colombia before getting here was completely wrong so here are some things you might not know about this great country:

1. Colombia is the fastest growing economy in South America. The reason it is still a bit untapped is mainly due to the old Pablo Escobar stigma, but if you're looking for a great trip at a reasonable price, hurry and get here before they build a Disney World.

2. Everything is sold in bags. Water, Coca Cola, milk, coconut milk, ketchup, mayonnaise, pasta sauce, and of course soup. I have been searching for beer in a bag, but so far my efforts are in vain. Aguardiente, the local hard liquor, is sold in juice boxes. Coffee is served in shot glasses. Obviously.

3. I am convinced that you must be beyond medical help in order to drive buses in Colombia. I have taken a fair few scary rides around this world, but Colombia might take the cake as they all seem to be in a hurry. There's nothing quite like overtaking a giant truck labeled PELIGRO in big, red letters with a skull under it whilst on a blind corner of a narrow mountain path in a thick fog when it's raining that gives your heart a chance to remind you that it's still there.

4. Although the climate is perfect for growing chili peppers, the food is quite mellow and filling instead of spicy. Tamal, similar to the Mexican tamales, is a staple food wrapped in a banana leaf and usually consists of meat, corn, potato or yuca. As per usual, I carry a small bottle of hot sauce in my purse to bring up the temperature whenever we eat out.

5. Only drug dealers speak English. Now I have only found this in Cartagena, the tourism capital of Colombia, and it's really annoying. Unfortunately, it's true. In three weeks I have only met a handful of Colombians that spoke English, but as soon as we arrived in Cartagena we were followed constantly by young boys who could probably be putting their education to a better use, especially at 9 a.m.

6. I'll never go back to box juice ever again. Ever. It's not juice. It's fresh squeezed or nothing from now on. You can buy a massive cup of juice squeezed right in front of you for about a dollar. Pete and I try to get a big glass every day.

7. The police are awesome. Even ten hours off the tourist track in tiny little towns there are two police officers on every corner. It's comfortable, it's helpful and it's bringing Colombia up and up. It's a nice, friendly presence not designed as a fear tactic but as a safety net. Never would I walk up to a police officer in America willingly. Or England. Or Europe for that matter. That guilty feeling comes up, like you're doing something wrong even though you're not. Here I walk up to them all the time, ask directions and even have conversations about life. They are really welcoming and I think this is what has really turned Colombia around in the last fifteen years. May I also state that there is a clear difference between fear and respect, and I feel that those lines have become blurry in the western world, and help no one.

Currently we're in Medellin, the second biggest city in Colombia, and the home of the most expensive metro line ever built. This is probably due to siesta time. Today Pete is at the skate park with his BMX that we travel with and practicing his Spanish. I'm sitting in the shade listening to a girl sing and play her guitar, but soon I'll be off the see the history museum. We'll hold the fort down until you can get here, wherever here may be.

Sun is Shining

It's been a long time, yet here we are again. I wish I could have been writing to you over these last few months, but the truth of the matter is that some stories are better left unwritten on the World Wide Web. I'll just leave it at that.

The last month Pete and I spent our holidays in a small town called Clevedon, outside of Bristol, with his family. Although it was cold out, his family was warm and welcoming and we had ourselves a wonderful traditional English Christmas. I had a great time meeting all of his friends and I learned the lesson of all lessons: Stay away from rough cider or it will destroy you. The last few days I went to London to spend time with my lovely friend Amy from New Zealand, Shaun of my "Toy Story" days and I went to see Everton lose with Alex. Again.

As most of you know, I'm not one to stay still or stay cold, so after a few plane rides we found ourselves in Bogota, Colombia! For all of those who have never been to Colombia, yet instantly have a negative opinion of it, I can assure you that you are very, very mistaken. I myself was very, very mistaken. Thoughts of kidnapping, theft and cocaine dealers on every corner floated in my mind, but my biggest mistake was listening to people who didn't know say, "Oh don't go there, it's dangerous." Nonsense. I've never felt better.

Bogota is a great city. Yes it's a little rough around the edges but that's just part of the charm. People are friendly and the food is delicious. In the last few years Bogota has really stepped up it's game to make the city safe again, for residents and tourists. There are, quite literally, two police officers on every single corner of the city center. The streets are clean, the city is prosperous, half of the walls are covered in art, people smile at strangers as they walk and there is a sense of tradition, respect and culture. . We took the gondola up Monserratte, Bogota's holy mountain, and had a good look at the city. With a population over eight million, no wonder it's enormous.

Three days into our tour and the warm sun of South America is already shining in my heart. Since Pete and I have no desire to plan anything I'm excited to see where life takes us. In a day or two we'll head north towards Santa Marta, but as it's a twenty-four hour bus ride we've decided to break it up into a few days and stop where we feel like it. Until then, safe travels wherever you are. I'll keep you posted.

Woman vs. Nature

"Rachel, you are not allowed to go anywhere with a volcano, or it will undoubtedly erupt."
-My father, on my luck with natural disasters.

I severely dislike hurricanes. This has got to stop. For a person who is never prepared for anything, natural disasters really screw with me. As always, I'm just thankful I have good friends who know what their doing.

Hurricane Irene wasn't nearly as bad as the earthquake in Christchurch but it was still miserable. We had our first hurricane scare a few weeks ago that turned out to be a light drizzle, but I was fully ready for it. Early on, Irene was only classed as a tropical storm so we were only half ready. By half ready I mean I bought a gallon of water, a pink Cinderella flashlight, bottle of champagne and foodstuffs necessary to make nachos. My new television show, Woman vs. Nature, will be coming out soon.

My friend/boss Val offered me and a few other friends a place to crash for a day or two, and seeing as how I had to get off the boat I went to her place in Luquillo. By the time the storm was over us it has turned into a full-blown, Class-3 hurricane. It poured nonstop for 2 solid days with winds blowing up to 75 miles per hour. I now understand why every house in Puerto Rico is made out of concrete. I also understand why all the water, canned food, candles and batteries were gone from the store. Really the hardest bit was waiting in an airless, concrete house with no running water or electricity and getting soaked when trying to open a door or window for some air for two days.

When we able to venture outside we found a 30 square foot piece of roof that wasn't ours in the backyard and what looked like a palm tree explosion in the front. From my other boss Juan we heard that he woke up to someone's TV satellite on top of his mini van, and our friend Aminda's windshield was smashed in by a tree. My car Maverick: The Beast was miraculously untouched and even started, although drenched with water. The boat, when were able to and check on her, is another story.

I have to say in all honesty that it has never really occured to me that there might be things in this world I couldn't do. If I learned and I tried hard I could achieve anything, and I've never questioned that until yesterday. Yet taking care of a sailboat during hurricane season in the Caribbean might be too much for me. I understand the fundamentals of sailing a boat, but the mechanics and electrics are way over my head. Not to mention the physical strength needed to tie lines and move the boat. For someone who is not used to asking for help, it's been really hard. When the boat to my port side snapped it's lines and rammed my boat repeatedly during the storm, I wasn't there. There was not much I could have done anyway but it's left me feeling helpless. Helpless like when my van Crazy Carl kept dying in New Zealand and there was nothing I could do. So I guess I'll take a deep breath and leave this to the professionals and insurance companies and take it day by day.

What the hurricane and earthquake ultimately taught me was that life doesn't care about your plans. You can be as prepared as possible, plan every detail down to the last minute, and an earthquake will still fuck up your day. Plan your day, plan your career, plan your future and life will go and do what it pleases anyway. Maybe it teaches us that life can end at any moment, and that is natural, so enjoy the sunshine. Maybe it teaches us that change is a positive force. For me, it reaffirms what I already know: Live one day at a time, love with a full heart and smile at what life throws my way.

It's a Fine Day

Thursday, August 11th was my 26th birthday. Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes, it was really a great day spent with great friends. Every year my stepmom Jaz asks me what I had learned that year and I've been putting some real thought into what exactly I have been learning lately. Now lets face it, I'm just a spring chicken barely hatched and wandering around a bit lost, but I guess wandering is just my way. As long as I keep my eyes open, there's no telling what'll happen. So here it is:
Presenting:
"What Rachel Holan Has Learned From The World,"
or
"What Would Willie Do?"
or
"It's A Fine Day To Make A Mess Of Things."

1. Smile at whatever life throws you. Smile when you wake up, when the sun is out, when you feel a bit down, and when you meet old ladies. Smile at rude people, it will really piss them off. Anything is obtainable in this world with a smile. Smiling is contagious, spreads joy, has no race, color or religion and costs nothing.

2. Put down the clicker and read a book. Or listen to some good music that really touches your heart. I am convinced that it would greatly benefit humanity if everyone threw their television out the window and went outside to enjoy the day. If you would like a book suggestion, I just finished a great one. My brother gave me "The Tao of Willie," a little book by Willie Nelson talking about life and relating to the Tao Te Ching. We all have a lot to learn from the original Cowboy-Hippie who can jumpstart your heart with his smile and his song. If you don't know who Willie Nelson is, please, for the love of everything sacred, do yourself a favor and go look up "Nightlife" or "Still is Still Moving" or "Whatever Happened to Peace on Earth." And if anyone needs any other book suggestions, I can send you a list of a hundred or so to choose from that'll change your life in a very positive way.

3. I severely dislike earthquakes. It definitely feels like I've filled my quota on natural disasters this year, but seeing as how we're mistreating our planet, I can see how Mother Nature is a bit pissed off. At the same time, the Earth has been around for millions of years, whereas our small industrial revolution has only been going about 200 years. To quote the late, great George Carlin, "It's not the planet that's in trouble. It's the people who are fucked!" There has got to be a balance where humanity can responsibly co-exist with the rest of the planet before we get wiped out for our insolence. I intend to spend my remaining years figuring out that balance and living with what this planet has graciously given.

4. Speaking of humanity, we really need to pull ourselves together people. It's just all getting a bit ridiculous and sad. A few days ago I saw two kittens sitting in the sun next to the biggest iguana I have ever seen. I cannot think of two species more different, but if kittens and iguanas can get along then dammit!-we should be able to as well. It's high time to set aside petty differences like religion, color and sexuality or we are just not going to make it. To quote Willie Nelson, "I learned: If you forgive your enemies, it messes up their heads."

5. Love is definitely worth fighting for. This year on New Years Day I took a flight back to New Zealand to be with a man I truly love. I went back with almost nothing and risked a lot but it was worth every minute to be with him again and now we're planing our adventures all over the world. It took me 25 years to realize that dating a nice man who cares about me was a good idea. They should be teaching this in schools instead of abstinence.

6. Give back to your community, even if you're only there a short while. The day before my birthday a group of friends got together to clean up the beach in Luquillo. It amazed me what people we dumping on this stunning beach, and how much disrespect they had for their own neighborhood. We picked up everything you could imagine in a trashcan from beer bottles, plastic forks, styrafoam cups, and glass shards to a couch, a toilet seat and a heroin needle. The worst was the cigarette butts. Five cigarette butts to every other piece of trash on the beach. I truly believe that there is a special circle in Hell designated for flickers-of-cigarette-butts. Listen up butt-flickers! If you are truly ignorant of the harm you are causing, or if you simply do not care, maybe it is time to wake up. Please stop flicking your cigarette butts on the ground, we all share this world together.

7. Follow your bliss. Traveling is the only thing in life that ever made sense to me. It keeps me calm and grounded, wild and saucy, and makes me happy every day. I could not ask for a greater gift than the knowledge of how I'm supposed to live my life. There are people in my life who do not understand, who feel I should come off my cloud and back down to the "reality" they live in. To them I say thanks for your concern, but no thanks. I'm just fine where I am.

8. No worries, mon. "If a situation occurs in your life that worries or concerns you, stop and think! Is there anything I can do about it? If yes, then there's no need to worry. If no, then there's still no need to worry." -Dalai Lama. Enough said.

9. There is always a balance, a middle-ground. Exercise vs. Laziness. Vegetables vs. Ice Cream. Work vs. Play. Beer vs. Liquor, etc. Trying to find the balance in all aspects of life isn't easy but I'm doing what I can. I still haven't figured out that last one though.

10. Shake it up! Make a mess of things. Call your boss or an immigration official "Bro." Throw away all your shoes. Dance and sing in the street. Hug strangers. Smile at homeless people and ask them how their day is. Get your phD in Anthropology if you are so inclined. Whatever makes you happy. Happiness is, to me, the most important thing there is. Once you have it, share it with the world.

In my own way, that's what I'm trying to do here. With you.

Wayward

When speaking of his children, my father refers to us as Samuelito and the Wayward Spawn. I am the Wayward Spawn.

Wayward have been my movements of late. After the earthquake rocked Christchurch Pete and I started re-evaluating our life's priorities, such as living in a town with a low death toll. My dad offered us his boat in Puerto Rico and we jumped at the chance, and for the last four months I have been floating happily in the Caribbean. Maybe I'm just lazy or maybe it's the heat, but I've been having a hard time trying to write and describe Puerto Rico in words. Perhaps it's because this country is just so Damn Loco.

"Oh Puerto Rico, land of the MayoKetchup," as my friend Chris likes to say, is a weird mix between Latino culture and American. Although they are technically a teritory of the United States, when put to a vote to be
A. A State
B. An independent nation
C. Neither/ I don't know
the resounding majority vote was for C. They love Burger King, Walmart and enormous shopping malls. It is very difficult to be a vegetarian here considering that their four food groups are meat, cheese, fried meat and fried cheese, all dipped in butter, fried, and then dipped in more butter. Many seem unaware that throwing trash on the street has a negative impact on their island and recycling is unheard of. The Spanish spoken here is a mutated Spanglish spoken so quickly that they often don't understand one another. "Puerto Rico," my friend Shella says, "where the women eat more than the men, and the men gossip more than the women."

All of that, though, is just a tiny piece of the greater puzzle. I love Puerto Rico. I have met some of the friendliest people here, always willing to help you out without hesitation. Puerto Ricans say hi equally to their neighbors and strangers, stuff you until you're way beyond full, smile, dance, laugh and love their families. They have immense pride in their island and rightfully so because it's just beautiful here. I have a great job working at a surfer bar called Board Riders, right across the street from a beautiful beach in Luquillo and at some point will probably try to learn how to surf.

"Puerto Ricans drive like they've run out of cigarettes," says my friend Dave. I absolutely adore Puertorican people until they get in their car, then it's like going into battle. Like most people who have at one time lived in Mexico, I consider people who stop at red lights to be good drivers. It's not as bad here but it's pretty horrible. Driving here should be considered an extreme sport as every lane is a turn lane, there's no speed limits and there are potholes the size of bathtubs at every turn. On top of all this, there is no required inspection for cars. If the entire front of your car is smashed in, none of your lights or indicators work, black clouds of smoke issue from underneath and it still runs, well then you can drive it. Scary and true, and I haven't even told you about my car yet.

I can say with absolute certainty that my car could only be street-legal in Puerto Rico, and maybe India. He is a 1992 Chevrolet Lumina/Tank named Maverick and I got him off my friend Angel for $300. Angel ran him into a lightpost and the whole left side is scraped up, there are metal shards sticking out of the drivers side door and I have no drivers side mirror. To open the hood there is a rope under the floor mats that, if pulled quite forcefully, will open it. One window won't roll down unless you take the stick out of the wedge and I don't think any of my blinkers work. Don't even mention AC or stereo. The real problem is that the car won't die. He just roars to life every morning and I can't scrap him and get my $300 back.

The good thing about Maverick is I found out he can run without oil, water or gas.
Wayward indeed.