Taking Names

Currently my favorite phrase in Thai is "Farang mai ting tong," which means "White girl not crazy." Although I'm sure some would beg to differ, including myself actually.

For some unknown reason I have recently signed up for a month of Muay Thai boxing training. Why have I signed up for this? Only Buddha knows. Perhaps it's because I was getting sick of the travelers' party scene. Perhaps I'm looking for some semblence of health and fitness. Perhaps I am ting tong. The good news is that I actually think it's working.

Today I finished my fourth day of training. We train once or twice a day, two hours each session, six days a week. I haven't had a drop of alcohol in six days. I can barely lift my arms to type this. I have come to terms with a new pain: shin pain. Shin pain feels like your shins are bleeding from the inside, but only forming bruises on the outside as you kick the trainer's gloves or punching bags over and over again. I have a bruise on my right ribcage from my third day when I missed a block out of pure exhaustion and got kicked. As I whimpered softly in pain Tong, my trainer for that day, felt my ribcage and looked up with a smile. "Not broken.......jab! Uppercut!" I haven't missed a block since.

A typical rundown of a two hour training session, not including the run that usually starts at seven, starts with a jump rope, which is good because from third to fifth grade I got blue ribbons in a jumping rope contest. Which actually means nothing. Then we warm up together, which I like because it includes a lot of yoga and that's the only thing I'm better at than anyone else. After we line up to practice techniques with our jab, punch, uppercut, cross, elbow, straight kick, knee, and side kick. A trainer will then grab you, strap on some boxing gloves, and go for a one-on-one endurance session on pain. For two hours we are constantly punching, kicking, weaving, and blocking, so of course we end with a measly 300 push-ups, pull-ups or sit-ups, all of which I cannot do for the life of me. I opt for 200 crunches with Tong yelling, "higher...higher!" and me yelling, "Mai! Chai yen yen!"

That brings me to my second favorite phrase. "Chai yen yen," means "Take it easy."

I love all the trainers, but Tong is my favorite. The only English he speaks are words like punch, block, elbow, kick, good, faster, and sissy. He always laughs at me because I'm incapable of having a badass Thai fighter face and look more like a fatigued Minnie Mouse. We spend most of our time laughing at each other, which is cool considering he used to be the number one Muay Thai boxing champion of Thailand. After a while Bee will seperate the giggling idiots and he'll make me work hard on my technique, or lack there of. It's Bee's gym, and he used to be a number one champion also. So was Tree. And Ay. And Egg. So basically I'm paying for some of the best Thai fighters in Thailand to kick my ass into shape six days a week. And when I can finally pick my broken body off the mats, it's time to go to work.

Here in this tiny little town called Pai in the northern mountains of Thailand I am running a vintage clothing store. I met an English Reiki Master named Allen who was given this little shop, and has no idea what to do with it. So he just kinda gave it to me to advertise, take care of, and generally be creative with. It's a nice place to relax, wind down, read my book, practice my fire spinning and meet some cool people. We split the profits, which isn't much, but it's enough to keep me alive. He's also given me a great deal on some Reiki lessons, which is energy healing, that would add on nicely to my massage practice.

Yesterday my friend Andy, who is doing the training with me, cursed me for being able to land on my feet so quickly, seeing as I've been here for a week. I'm not sure why or how this always seems to happen, but I'm thankful that it does. I'm happy here in my little town with only three streets. I live in a bamboo hut, which is absolutely freezing in the mornings but beautiful in the sunny afternoons. I train, I work, I eat great Thai food, and I'm usually sleep by nine or ten at night.

Rachel the Social Butterfly is taking a break.

Rachel the Muay Thai fighter is kicking ass and taking names.

I just found out that I'm sparring on Monday. And yes, my toenails are painted shiny pink. We'll see how long I last.