Soi ching ching katoi tuan

It was when the eight year old knocked out the other eight year old and the crowd started cheering that I started biting my fingernails.

Maybe I'm just a weirdo, but that sort of stuff makes me squeamish. Here I am kissing my little Buddha and praying that everyone comes out unscathed, which kinda defeats the purpose of being at a Muay Thai fight at Tha Phae Stadium in Chaing Mai. What can I say? I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Two people from my gym fought last Monday: Mary from Canada and Joe from England. About fifteen of us piled into a mini van that could comfortably fit eight and drove down the treacherous "highway" through the mountains from Pai to the big city to cheer them on, farang style. Mary was the seventh fight of the evening against a giant Austrian girl with a killer right hook. She, however, had a stunning victory for her very first fight, and now I'm not so sure about Canadians being all that peaceful. Joe was the eighth and headliner for the evening, fighting one of the best Muay Thai fighters in Chaing Mai. He was ready, held his own, got some major kicks in, but lost to points to a guy who has been fighting since the age of six. Not really fair, is it?

All in all the evening was fantastic, except for the loss of my fingernails due to stress from watching my friends take a beating, even though they were dishing it out as well. I have realized recently that I have zero agression in me, I have no desire to punch anyone not wearing sparring pads, and I severely dislike getting punched. All that said, I'm in my third week of training and I absolutely love it. I feel fit, energetic, more confident, and I've developed quite a tolerance for small, annoying pains like knuckle bruises, which I now only have three of.

Life in Pai is fantastic, and I've got my little routine down well. I have moved from my bamboo hut and am now living true Thai style in the back of my shop. It's great, cheap, challenging, and I'm getting creative with what people might call "roughing it." I get up at seven a.m. every morning and go fill up my shower bucket, which is next to my sink bucket. The water is really cold, so once my bucket is filled I go put it out back in the sun for my shower later. Then I go about my morning and head off to a two to three hour training session, which I'm finally getting the hang of. The rest of the day is split between arduous tasks of reading my book (Moby Dick), napping, practicing my fire spinning, talking to nice people, occasionally going to the pool, playing with my dog, napping, etc.

Oh yes, I have a dog. Her name is Crystal, and technically she has me. She takes me out on walks all the time, and introduces me to everyone as they all know her and keep wondering who the new farang in town is. Which brings me to how much I love Thai people. They are hilarious, and they think I'm just about the strangest thing that has happened to them, so we get along well in comical disbelief.

Reasons I Love Thai People:

1. They are always smiling, laughing and singing.

2. The slight chill of the Pai evenings has everyone coming up from Chaing Mai for the weekends to parade around in their winter clothing, such as earmuffs and snow boarding goggles when it is literally 90 degrees (30 Celsius) every afternoon.

3. They take pictures of everything that is not beautiful scenery, such as post boxes, unimportant cafe signs, and me. Yesterday I saw a family of seven take a group picture in front of the cement Pai Bank sign, with the photographers back to the mountains. They also hugely enjoy taking multiple pictures of themselves in different lights, never forgetting the Stereotypical Asian Pride Pose of a peace sign in Every. Single. Picture.

4. Their respect. Bowing is such a huge part of daily life, and I love the intricasies of the proper bow. If someone is older than you then palms together at your heart as you bow your head is appropriate. Lower head bows for monks. If you're not sure about age and don't want to offend someone, a simple head bow will do. Farang are included on this should we choose to participate.

5. Muay Thai is the national sport, and kids can start learning at the age of six. It also wields great respect and has been something of a shock to me to get bows from people when I walk through the main street in my Thai boxing shorts at 7:30 every morning. To them a foreigner training in Muay Thai is pretty shocking, especially girls, and yesterday a policer officer gave me a slight bow, which was totally unexpected. I had to stop mid-stride for a low bow as a compliment to his, and we parted as new friends.

6. Thai food is the second best food in the world, the first being Mexican. My favorite person in Pai is a tiny lady named Na, who runs Na's Kitchen and is the best and cheapest restaurant in town. For a full meal of Pad Prie-Waan, which is a sweet and sour sauce with tofu, fresh veggies, pineapple, cashews, an egg and rice is less than an American dollar. I love this woman as she is always singing and skipping about her kitchen, and calls me Lay-chee because Thai people can't pronounce r's. We have become quite good friends seeing as how all the Muay Thai fighters eat at her restaurant/house every night.

7. Thai language is really difficult to learn for Westerners, but is actually quite a simple language. There are no past or future tenses, and instead of saying something like, "Where are you going?" they just say "Where go?" I'm learning more everyday, especially from my trainers, and today Egg taught me "Soi ching ching katoi tuan," which means something like "You're very pretty for a fighting ladyboy."

Ahh, Thailand, you had me at "Sawadii kaaaaaaa." (Hello.)