Fear vs. Curiosity

I think there's definitely something to be said for Fear of the Unknown, even though I think its losing the battle.

One week ago, which seems like an eternity in itself, I left Asia to embark on yet another unknown adventure. As I have done many times before, I left behind friends, family, and someone I love. My mother comforted me in saying that I had made this move before and that I was equipped with the physical and mental tools needed to take the next step. I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

All of us nomads are well aware of our blessings and our curses. The blessings and oppurtunities to see what most people will never see, to experience daydreams and live out our life ambitions are at the top of my list for why I do what I do, why I am who I am. The top of my list of Traveling Curses would look something like this:

1. Being seperated for long periods of time from my friends, family and loved ones.
2. Living out of a small backpack with little or no privacy.
3. The almost impossibility of sustaining relationships due to frequent changing of countries.
4. Giving up material possesisons.
5. No hot showers.

Most of those I am fine with, or have learned to cope with, or have learned to cherish. Recently though, I've been wondering if human beings really can be equipped with the ability to leave a comfortable life passively, or if it's some sort of mental defect that was bestowed upon me at birth. Is it a good thing to not be afraid of the unknown? Or to pretend that I'm not even though I am petrified. I can honestly say that I have been afraid before every big move I have ever made. That means it's not Fear that keeps me home, but simply that my curiosity is stronger than my fear of the unknown.

Curiosity is a strange companion. It will find me when I am satisfied with life and pry me out of there as fast as it can. It is always near, always itching to move, learn, grow, push, run, jump, and crash into streetlights. It is addicted to adventure. Curiosity is selfish and will not compromise. It does not bind itself to people or places, it steers clear of love, it invites trouble to tea and its motives are unquestionable because there is no logical answer anyway.

I have leapt agian with Curiosity as my only guide. As I sit and reflect on my life and how I have come to be who I am, I look out the window to see the green hills, blue sky and leafless trees of Nelson, New Zealand. The crisp August chill catches me off guard when I venture out of my blankets, but the air is clean and my peace of mind spreads further with every hot cup of tea and friendly smile. My boyfriend Haydin's family has been so kind as to take me in and treat as one of their own, and for that I will be forever grateful. Curiosity has been forced into remission while I stay here and make some money to fuel my travel habits. Until then it will bide its time, it will be patient, it will wait.

But someday it will strike and at its mercy, I will uproot myself once again and the battle between Fear and Curiosity rages on. If your curiosity is screaming at you too, please feel free to join in.
My Curiosity and I welcome you.