Keep Austin Weird

Written 18-7-08

This letter is dedicated to the Celtic Cowboys, a Gaelic football team in Austin, Texas, who have provided me with countless hours of entertainment and unwavering friendship. Thank you.

I love Austin.
I adore Austin.

As I was sitting under my favorite tree, drinking coffee at my favorite coffee shop, I realized that my love for this beautiful city could be expressed in one solitary word, one sweeping exclamation of what I felt in the recesses of my heart: Leslie.

Leslie. Every Austinite knows about Leslie, or has met Leslie, or has some amazing funny story about him. Leslie is Austin's own famous crazed homeless transvestite. He strolls the streets in pink leather thongs, fishnet tights, high heels and a long white beard, greeting tourists, posing for pictures and generally causing shock and laughter with every step he takes. Today he was wearing a University of Texas burnt orange longhorns top tied under his voluptuous fake breasts and the shortest miniskirt I have ever seen.

He walked over to me today whilst I was reading under my tree to talk about Mark Twain (I'm reading Letters from the Earth-it's fantastic). I was at that moment struggling with a word, nepotism, which usually happens when I read Twain. Together we ventured forth to find a dictionary and he only broke the conversation once to answer his Bluetooth. Although I have talked to Leslie many times, this morning was the catalyst I needed to be able to explain Austin at it's finest.

In 2000 Leslie ran for mayor and actually managed to get 15% of the votes for the election. Considering he's a homeless cross-dresser who showed up at the debates in a leopard print thong, that's pretty damn good. In his actions we can see the beauty of Austin, in the open minds of the community, in the official city slogan "Keep Austin Weird."

Austin is a safe haven for all the beautiful individuals this world holds. And it keeps us here with unheard-of festivities...

Austin is home to the month-long South by Southwest International Music, Art, and Film Fest, the Austin City Limits Music Festival, the Bob Marley Reggae Festival where you can sit next to your bong in a public park and no one bothers you. Let's not forget Eeyore's Birthday, a celebration of that lovable, pessimistic character from Winnie the Pooh, through a massive drum circle, costume contests, and beer from all the local breweries. Pecan Street Festival...Blues on the Green...First Thursday...Barton Springs...the list goes on...

But what about a simple Saturday afternoon when you can walk to a park and see a mix of Irish, American, and Dutch friends play Gaelic Rules football against an Aussie Rules football team, sweating under the Texas sunshine to practice for tournaments in Chicago and Colorado...where else but Austin, Texas could you find such madness?

Let's not forget the University of Texas, one of the biggest universities in the world, with over 80,000 students enrolled last year. Along with UT, we also have St. Edwards University, Concordia, Huston-Tillotson, Austin Community College, and Texas State University just down the road. Imagine the night-life!

For me, Austin has all the diversity and strength of a big city while maintaining a small community feel and atmosphere. The only problem is that it resides in the dead center middle of Texas, one of the most closed-minded, polluted hell holes I have ever been to. Yet in our sanctuary, our oasis, we work hard everyday to Keep Austin Weird.

I am so blessed to be from such an amazing place. I hope that every one of you will be able to experience something like it in your lifetime.