Yesterday at 4:33 a.m. I got off a bus in downtown Bangkok. Being near a popular destination for travelers, Kho San Road, I headed that dirction to find some accomodation and some rest. For those of you who know it, Kho San Road is a pretty wild place. By day it is filled with hawkers and tourist traps, cheap clothing stalls, and the occasional fake ID place that does anything from student travel discount cards, Australian work permits and UK drivers licenses. By night it's the social scene in Bangkok, for tourists and locals, and if you're still looking for beer at five or six in the morning Kho San is your place. As usual, there are a large number of pretty, young Thai girls with their arms draped over a number of white men, young and old, who will pay them for a nights' company. And, if you take a closer look, you might get a little surprise.
Every "westerner" hears the horror stories of the Lady-boys. Some of them look so much like women that the only way you can tell they're men is when it's too late. I personally feel, since I'm not really a fan of sex exploitation, that's it's hilarious to hear these stories and that karma has simply found its way with these unsuspecting louts. But then, here I am about to tell you MY Lady-boy story...
As I was saying, it was early in the morning or really late at night, depending on how you look at it. The people I had gotten off the bus with had found the hostel they booked for, yet there was no room for me. I headed back out and checked four or five hostels to no avail. After a twelve hour journey, including a hellish boat trip and an overnight bus I couldn't sleep on, I sat down on the curb to rest, think, and look at my map.
There were a lot of people on the road, but I was having a hard time communicating through my exhaustion and their drunkenness. You may think this to be a hazardous predicament, but I have to honestly say I have not once, in almost a month here in Asia, felt any danger whatsoever. The people here are fantastic, smiling, lovely people. And that is why I didn't feel any hesitation at all when a group of young girls walked up to me and sat down for a chat. They asked me why I was sitting there, if I had a place to stay, why I wasn't with my husband or boyfriend (in that order) and seemed generally distressed that I was traveling alone because they thought I was lonely. And truth be told, at that moment I was a bit lonely and truly relished their company.
They couldn't have been more that 18 or 19 years old, all dressed in modern, western party clothes, and seemed to be having a great time in each others' company. They all spoke English reasonably well, which is more than I can say about my Thai, and their conversations seemed quite clever, even if it was five in the morning. I was pretty damn sure they were prostitutes, but hey, who am I to judge? I liked them, and we sat there talking about everything, from American politics to the best beaches in Thailand.
The conversation took an interesting turn when one girl said something to another in Thai, and they all started giggling while one of the girls blushed. As she turned back to me, she translated in to English:
"Jay here, she want show you new boobies. Just got them. Grade-A boobies."
"What?" I reply, confused and not clear if I had heard correctly.
"Jay is full girl now, just get boobies last week!"
***Now, this was not said in a sexual way. More like a girly confession right before a pillow-fight at a teenager's sleepover; something you would only admit to your best girlfriends.
The young girl blushes again, but looks at me with a proud and excited eye, expecting me to fall into the role of girlfriend confidant. I am stunned and amused. Ok.
"So Jay, I like your boob-job. Have you always been a girl, or is this a new thing?"
(They erupt in giggles and now I'm not sure I've said the right thing. Jay smiles and speaks.)
"Oh Ray-chu, I am always being a girl in my head. Just born male parts. Now work very hard have new boobies!" she squeals.
"Excellent. I'm very excited for you."
"Would you like to see? To touch na?"
"No."
"Oh yes you must! Very nice for touch, see?"
"Wow. That's your boob. I'm actually good thanks."
"Please touch, see they are nice, na?" chide the girls together.
"Shit.......ok."
And that is how I came to touch a transvestite's fake tit yesterday at 5:30 a.m.
To be honest, the entire time with the "girls" was pretty funny, and I'm glad I met them. It's funny the life lessons you learn whilst traveling, even if unexpected. Jay was simply being herself, and I think that's all anyone could ever be. I liked her and her friends, all confident seemingly care-free, although I'm sure their lives were a lot harder than they let on. The story ends with them taking me to a cheap, clean traveler's hostel who did have a bed for me. Instead of sleeping I sat and wrote down this story.
As I sit here, relaying it to you, I smile. I have loved Thailand from the first five minutes of being here, and like all new loves, it contiues to teach me and surprise me. Jay's lesson to me about being myself, knowing myself inside and out, and loving everything around me is one I will cherish. I think we have a lot of doubt in ourselves sometimes, about what we feel we can and cannot accomplish, or our outward appearance attacked daily by tabloid media telling us what we should or shouldn't look like. I am going to try, although it won't be easy, to be more myself everyday.
Today I put on a pair of baggy pair of thai pants, a tank top, and spent the whole day reading my book under a tree. I feel that is me, and I haven't wanted anything more all day. Whether I met you in Austin, London, Mexico, or some other part of the world, the reason I'm emailing this letter to you is because I think you have a beautiful soul. And I think people should hear that more than it's said.
You are a beautiful person with a beautiful soul, and I thank you for being a part of my life, and for improving on it.
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